I should actually be able to get emails sent to me now. Apparently they were going into an inbox that doesn't exist instead of where they were supposed to go. Any emails sent to me in the past have been lost in the void, and I never even saw them. So don't get mad if you sent me an email and I didn't reply, because I didn't get it. It's working now, though. Honest.

I'm not going to get into the habit of posting things like this, but you may see something like it every now and then.

My mind was wandering, as it frequently does (damn ADD), and I think I came up with the best band that could exist right now:
Guitar - Eric Clapton
Bass - Roger Waters
Piano - Yoko Kanno
Drums - Neil Peart

Imagine the songs that team would come up with. Well, that's my musical dream team. I couldn't figure out where to fit Mike Muir in, but if I could figure that out, it would be even better.

One can always hope, I guess.

I've noticed that most of the time I assume anything important, I'm wrong. However, if I have doubts about any assumption of mine, and ask someone about it, not only do they treat me like an idiot, but my assumption was correct, and as such I didn't need to make such a fool out of myself (when I ask, I don't make it known what I think in case that's wrong). Many people who have doubts are afraid to ask about it because of the fear of scrutiny, such as the kind I often receive when I ask about such things. As such, people often have the wrong idea. As much as I'd like to abolish such arrogance, I must admit I am quite guilty of the sin myself, possibly moreso than most. It's truly a difficult thing being guilty of the crime you protest so righteously. This must be how the religious feel.

Damn my hypocrisy.

Last night around 10:00 or 11:00, we got dime-sized hail. I didn't notice any damage, but then it was only dime-sized. Earlier today it was bright and sunny, but now, only a few hours later, it looks to be storming again. Isn't weather fun? I wonder if it will hail again. Didn't have any plans to go out today. We were going to have fish cooked on the grill, though... not that rain has ever stopped us before... although hail might.

So the storm didn't even really start going until about 9:00. I almost decided to go, thinking the storm was just blowing over. That would've been about 8:00. It's 9:30, and it's been pretty bad for a while. Glad I don't have to drive in it. Every time it storms like this, I think about how some poor intelligent person is going to die because some moron can't drive in this weather... and the moron will live. Makes it kind of hard to believe in karma.

No food in the house. I was planning to go out and eat at this Japanese Steakhouse across town. Starts getting cloudy in the afternoon. Roll around dinner time, it starts storming. I don't want to travel across town in this weather. I guess I'll be eating rice and vegetables again tonight. It'll probably let up a little after 9:00. It takes me about 20-30 minutes to get to the restuarant, and it closes at 9:30 on Sundays.

I want to go to E3. Maybe next year. Maybe then I can qualify as a member of the press somehow. I've got a website with a domain. They should let me go. It doesn't matter if anyone actually reads it or knows it's there, because it is there and I post to it, making me a member of the press... or something. I know, I'll do some game reviews. I'll write up reviews for Morrowind and Heroes of Might and Magic 4 sometime in the possible future. That'll get me in.

For those of you with cool local comic shops, the new M:TG set Judgment (skip first "e") comes out today. Looks to be an interesting set, dealing much with cards in the graveyard. I know I'll be playing Haunting Echoes more often, now.

Self-awareness is a strange thing. Couple it with intelligence and you get a lot of questions. How do you answer these questions? How do you even ask them? Someone asks, "What is the meaning of life?" Do they really understand what they've asked? The answer to that is in my FAQ. Does the soul exist? Well, before that can be answered you have to define what a soul is. In order to do that, you have to understand the concept of a soul.

A soul is, like, this thing... in people, that, like, you know, makes you who you are... and like, is your very essence of being.

Right.

Well, since science doesn't yet acknowledge the presence of a soul, not being able to do much in the way of studies on it and all, nor will I. I'll just keep living this crazy thing called life, if you don't mind.

I put up a FAQ in the info section. Aside from the question about God, I answered all the questions truthfully. I am agnostic.

I thought Episode II was pretty good. There were a few parts that made me ill to bear witness to (ie the diner), and I could have done without the really, really bad puns, but all in all it was a pretty good movie. The new Star Wars movies seem to involve politics a lot more than the old ones did, which is kind of unfortunate for most fans seeing as we already know all about it going in to see the movie. I think the movie would do better with an audience who hasn't seen any Star Wars and hasn't heard any of its story. Unfortunately those people live in caves, or are Amish, and will never see a movie.

The ability to stay awake is underrated. Most people cannot stay awake in the morning, hence the popularity of coffee. Note to kids, Jolt Cola has much less caffeine than coffee. I can't stand the stuff, myself. I drink tea. I think it helps. Caffeine gets the heart-rate up, getting blood to those important parts of your body (ie your brain). Excersize has a tendancy to do that as well, but is far less convenient. They say that if you eat right, excersize, and go to bed early, you'll be okay. I've been excersizing somewhat regularly since February, and I've been more conscious of what I eat, yet I still feel like shit in the mornings. The reason I started drinking tea was because I felt like shit in the mornings. I've tried many things, including excersizing in the morning before I leave for work. Nothing works. I need to get a night job. I never felt like this when I worked the graveyard shift. And I slept better.

I swear I'm going to get this whole posting-stuff-to-a-website thing down one of these days. I will have consistent and concise posts, that stick with their topic and end where they began after having made a point. Most importantly, they'll make sense. Reading over my previous posts, I know what I was talking about because I was the one talking about it, but had I forgotten, I'm not sure it would've made all that much sense. Well, the angel kitty-girl post made sense, but aside from that...

Usually they say it the other way around, but what I'm referring to is those things that you just don't want to do because of some small reason, even though you'd probably be glad you did in retrospect. Thinking back, I was rather physically uncomfortable, or even in pain, during most of my happy memories. When looking back, I just remember the good parts, not the fact that I was bleeding out of what was remaining of my fingernail or that there was a small hole in my skin somewhere. The prospect of those things happening to me often prevents me from doing anything, but when I'm actually in the situation it doesn't bother me all that much. Maybe I need to get out more. I wonder, though, where would I go?

Normally I would remove the last remaining post when putting up a new one, but having dealt with Compaq's pure evilness all day today and yesterday, I decided I should leave that one up.

Today is my brother's birthday, so happy birthday to him. He is exactly one year older than he was a year ago. Yes, funny, I know. I hope he has a happy day.

I, on the other hand, have been having one of the weirdest fucking days in a long while. Everything's work-related (I associate traffic conditions with work), so I won't go into detail on it, but it has been one weird day. And it's only a 12:15pm. I can't wait to see what fucked up shit awaits me in the coming rest of the day, although I already have been made aware of some of it.

I hadn't originally planned for this to be a site where I bitched about stuff, but that is why it's up now instead of after having finished it. I guess the option to bitch publically (although, given the number of people who know of its existance, it can still be considered privately) was good motivation to work on the site. That and the prospect of someone actually visiting the site and seeing it incomplete. Also, I think that if I start bitching about stuff in a place like this, I might actually be concerned with it making sense. Keeping my thoughts in order is important, and as you can see from my "Influence" post, I have a hard time doing that.

I still haven't found the perfect hentai. Angel kitty-girls and tentacle beasts. Female tentacle beasts. Or maybe a kitty-girl angel with nine tails that masturbates with her tails. That would be good. There's so much porn out there that panders to the weirdest fucking fetishes, but I haven't found anything that panders to me all that well.

Chiiiii....

Being an insomniac also gives you a lot of time to think about everything. If I had any predictive skills whatsoever, I would probably have everything figured before it happened. I wonder if that makes any sense.

My mind is clay shaped by wind. I just finished watching Fight Club and found myself, afterwards, thinking quickly about things before doing them, thinking about how to do them more efficiently. I worded my sentences more articulately (thank god for Webster.com), and moved more fluently and quickly. Naturally, the subterfuge was short-lived, as I frequently examine my current state, and upon realizing positive things about yourself, I've found, those things are diminished. I've also found that when I watch movies or hang around with people where lots of curse words are used, I tend to use them frequently in my own speech for a short time during and afterwards, usually until I sleep. Sleep is the ultimate mental reset switch. That's why we need it. Dreams make your waking mind, whether you remember them or not. Being an insomniac gives you many short dreams. I can't keep much of anything straight, which is perfect for my job where I am required to keep track of many small things. As much as it may not seem, this is actually where I was going with all this.

Has anyone found a non-chemical cure for the unstable but willing mind? Or short-term memory loss? I often think that if I could cure my insomnia, everthing would be fine. I often blame my bad luck for everything that goes wrong, but there are too many coincidences. I discovered when I was young that I have a masochistic subconscious. At the time I became very aware that, after having fallen off my bicycle, I was jamming my leg between the chain and the gears to make it worse. I stopped, and was scared because I was completely unaware that I was doing it. This is where the self-analysis began. However, I wonder if this subconscious flaw is what causes or allows most of the bad things in my life to happen. Maybe I've been pointing the finger at all the wrong places.

It's strange typing BR in greater-than, less-than symbols rather than hitting enter for my line breaks. I wonder if one day, someone's going to look back through the Archives and read this post. I wonder what their thoughts would be in contrast with whatever my present thoughts would be at the time. I should close my blinds so I stop looking out the window.

In all honesty, I don't like the ending to The Confused Knight, but I feel I can't change it, seeing as how much trouble it was to get to that point. It was a difficult story to write after some point, because I had only envisioned what happens on the first few pages. I never really thought about where it was going until I got to a point where I had to make a decision. Every time I think I could have ended The Lion and The Zebra at an earlier point, I remember just how short of a short story it is. I think I printed it out on both side and was left with one sheet of paper. Well, I did intend to write it in the style of a children's story, however inappropriate for children the actual content may be. It does have talking animals, but it also has lots of killing. I'm quite proud of City Trains, though. Having read that after having written it so many years ago makes me want to write something again.

Has anyone noticed how Compaq is evil? I honestly believe Compaq hates all that lives. You've seen The Matrix? Those were Compaq computers, thanks to optimizations made by their new owner, Hewlett-Packard. With any luck, HP bought Compaq just to dissolve it. In case you're wondering, I deal with Compaqs at my job. Hopefully you'll never hear about my job again.

Someone should email me so I know if anyone has actually seen this site. That, and Pink Floyd is the best band of all time. Random interjection.

So I actually have a little content up. Comics and Fiction. Also, the Stills and Movies links actually go somewhere (my old website), but will be changed as soon as I have a place for them locally. I've also begun work on Info page entries, such as Suicidal Tendencies and Infectious Grooves. More artists, pop culture references, and generally useless information will be added in the future, so as that I can make links to them in my posts.

I gave someone at USPS the address for this site so I could get a manual to them. On the off-chance they return, I decided to edit my last post so as it had no offensive language in it. I should probably take out a policy on not putting offensive words in my posts, but I don't think it would last very long.

It's on the web. My webhosting came through for me. I said to myself, "DS, fuck it j0, put what ya got up." And so it was done, regardless of the fact that it's far from completion. Makes it easier to work on it when not at home, no? The Archives section will change format soon. And sooner or later I'm actually going to have content so people might actually want to visit this site. It'll be amazing... or some kind of good.