Guys should not wear transparent condoms in pornos. Either go without or wear an opaque one. I'd rather not see your dick at all, but if I have to, it would be nice if there was something covering it. However, if that something is a transparent condom, it goes from "Argh, a dick" to "What the fuck is wrong with that guy's dick?". The trasnparent condom makes the dick look worse.

Personally, I prefer lesbians with strap-ons to guys being in porno. Or, even better, straight women with strap-ons. Nice. "Suzy was like other girls, but one day she was a little curious..." Of course, the market is so flooded with porn that it's hard to find what you really want. It's like finding a tree in a forest.

Speaking of hiding trees in forests, I prefer women to be shaved, both in porno and in practice. I like the look and the feel. Actually, waxed is best. Maybe electrolysis.

Yeah, so I still haven't done the report. I haven't even finished brainstorming. I can't remember the details, so I've been asking other people to help fill in the gaps. There weren't any moments worth noting where I was by myself, so someone is bound to remember. I haven't started the actual writing, either, because I have to write some documentation for work, where I get paid to do stuff. That and the usual unusual crises. If things go my way, though (which they won't), I'll have it done before Otakon.

Also, the diary of Jack Harren is something that will continue.

For all the medium's infinite violence, you'd think there'd be more sex in video games. There are video games where you go around having sex, but that's hardly satisfying. I'm talking about sex in regular video games. I remember playing Ultima 7, already thinking that it was the coolest game ever (at the time, it was), and it still blew my mind when I got laid in it. The Baldur's Gate series had somewhat less-satisfying sex scenes, where the event would be planned, and then you skip straight to the morning after.

So, I'm playing Thief 3 last night. I'm walking around in the city, which is basically a do-what-you-want part of the game. Oh, you've got a mission, but you can go do that whenever you feel like it. Anyway, I walk into a shop, and there's this hottie merchant behind the counter. She's all impressed because the famous Garrett is in her store. If you wait a moment, she offers to go back to his place. All you can do is just stand there like an idiot. I mean, dude! Hot chick just offerred herself to you! You can spare a few minutes! Just take her behind the counter, right now. But, no, all you can do is buy something or leave. How disappointing. Of course, you can kill as many people as you want.

If we can so readily glorify violence, why can't we just as readily glorify sex? I mean, look at the media. Sex sells better than violence. In a non-presidentially-related poll of "Bush vs Gore", Bush won by a landslide. It's a proven fact that sex is more popular. So why do we get so little of it? Even in "Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball" I can't make the bitches so much as make out with each other. Some people had to hack the game to get their clothes off, and that's probably the most popular Xbox game patch ever.

I just got Thief 3 the other day. So far I've gotten through the first two missions. The first mission is terribly boring, as it's simply a tutorial. The only fun part there was the very end when you actually had a choice of what to do. The second mission was good, though.

First, the bad things. I hate how the game was designed for Xbox. Levels are broken down into areas so as not to exceed the Xbox's memory limitations. That's all well and good, but I'm playing it on the fucking PC, and I've got a fucking gig of RAM.

Also, there's no rope arrows. The developers said they couldn't figure out how to make them work. What's to figure out? You shoot an arrow just like a broadhead arrow. If it hits wood, it stops and stays there. Then, you create a rope going downward starting at the arrow and make it climable. How could you not figure out something that simple? I mean, it was in the first two games. Rope Arrows were so damned cool, too. They also left out the scouting orbs, but I never liked those anyway, and with the new 3rd-person perspective, they're kinda useless anyway.

Another bad thing, at least so far, is that you don't get to pick your equipment before a mission. I don't know if this changes later on in the game or not, so I'm not going to comment further on it.

Now for the good things. The first good thing is that the style of gameplay hasn't changed. Hey, when you've got something that works, don't screw with it. It's like Castlevania. Whenever they make a side-scroller Castlevania, it's good. Whenever they make a 3D Castlevania that doesn't resemble the original side-scrollers in anyway, it's bad. Thief sticks to the style of gameplay that made it good.

Obviously the graphics have improved. I could do without the giant dust particles floating around in the moonlight. Sure, it looks cool, but it quickly loses its novelty and becomes annoying. Shadows have improved, which is something that actually affects gameplay. While the people have more detail, they don't really look any better. The additional detail does make it easier to tell which way a character is facing, though. Also, lighting effects have been improved, another gameplay-impacting improvement.

Something new that I like is how it's even less combat-oriented than the previous games. When guards are chasing you, they will get tired and stop to take a quick breather. This allows you to get away from them. Before, you pretty much had to fight. Also, they've added sniping. If you hit an unsuspecting person in the head with an arrow, they die. Makes sense, but it's also another means to avoiding combat.

Another thing that's new is lock-picking. It's interactive now. There's not much to it, but it does give you the feel that you're doing something when picking a lock.

Overall, it's a fun game. Maybe not an improvement over the old games, but if you like 1 and 2, you'll like 3.

3:34PM, September 18, 2174

It is raining.

The landlord stopped by the office again today to remind me I'm three months behind on the rent. I'm not too worried, though. Who else is he going to rent out this rat-trap to? You have to enter a back alley to get to the front door. For my line of business, it works out better that way.

I sat down in my desk chair with half a tall bottle of vodka. Russian stuff, very potent, the kind of stuff that'll keep you warm on the coldest of days. Today it was just raining. That's as good a reason to drink as any. Summer rains are the perfect time to relax.

The door flew open. It does that sometimes. The alley between the buildings is like a wind tunnel. It often gets my hopes up that it's a new client, but it never is. This was one time I was fine with that. So, quite naturally, there was someone behind it this time.

"You Jack Harren?" The figure was something like an hourglass might have, and the voice of an angel. That's usually how it is, though, isn't it? She was sure to be trouble.

"Never heard of him," I said without raising my hat above my eyes, leaning back in the chair to get a better look at her.

"It says 'Jack Harren' on your door, and on the sign on your desk," she replied solemnly. She had me. I threw my hat onto the desk, knocking a small stack of papers onto the floor before her.

"What can this old man do for you?" I asked, leaning forward into the low lamplight.

"I need you to find someone who doesn't exist," she said, raising her eyebrow. She was obviously trying to challenge me.

"No can do, honey. I can't find someone who doesn't exist." I took a quick swig of vodka.

"Oh? Are you sure?" She sat down on the edge of my desk, her dress shrinking to her figure as it stretched behind her. A large clip of dollar bills appeared next to her.

"They're all ones," I said pretending not to care of such a small sum of money.

"287 ones," she said. "It's just a little something to get you started. Will you listen to my story?"

"Well," I said as I leaned forward in my chair to place the bottle on the table next to me. "I'm not going anywhere for another 3 hours." I leaned back in my chair and pulled my hat down over my eyes, feet up onto the desk. She wasn't going to steal anything, and I needed a nap.

She threw a picture down next to my feet. I heard it land. "This is the man who killed my brother. His name is Rodriguez Vasquez. I want you to find him."

"What's so non-existant about him?" I asked. I enjoyed the sound of her voice. It was seductively relaxing.

"This Rodriguez Vasquez is Irish," she replied. "He disguised himself as a Mexican to do the job. I don't know why he killed my brother, or even if he was working for someone else, but this picture came off the security camera at my brother's house."

"Why is his name Rodriguez Vasquez if he's Irish?" I asked.

"That's the name he gave when he showed up at the house. I've looked around but there is no Rodriguez Vasquez that looks like this."

"What makes you think he's Irish?"

"He let his accent slip," she said, a touch of anger entering her voice. "I have video and audio of everything that happened if you would like to see it."

"Have it delivered here, and fill out a form." I turned my head toward the table with the Vodka, which had a few work request forms on it. "I'm keeping the 280 dollars and make no guarantees."

"Oh, of course."

I've been to Anime Mid-Atlantic and I've returned. I actually returned on Sunday, but didn't get a chance to write anything up until last night, and then I just played video games until I fell asleep. I shall begin writing my report as soon as I remember anything. I'll try to have links to pictures for this one. This report should be shorter than the others, as it was less eventful. The thing about having a girl sit on your lap is that you can't really do much of anything until she gets up. Hopefully I'll have the report up in a couple weeks, as opposed to the Anime USA report that never came to light (I couldn't remember it well enough to even write just some of it). That report would've been very long.