I watched American Psycho last night. Yes, I will often talk about movies I've just rented. Anyway, one of the best parts of this movie is Christian Bale's delivery. The movie is darkly comic much of the time, and Christian Bale accentuates this nicely. Unlike Falling Down (starring Michael Douglass), it doesn't start out strong then head in a pussy-out direction. In fact, it starts off kind of weak, and then gets stronger as it goes. Perhaps the strongest part of the movie, however, was when Patrick (Bale's character) was describing Huey Lewis and the News while putting on a raincoat. Perhaps this doesn't sound significant as it stands. Perhaps it would help to know he was putting on the raincoat so that he wouldn't get blood on his suit. Some parts of the movie were quite disturbing, particularly the killings, but that one in particular was great.

Perhaps Christian Bale even contributed to the satire of the movie, as when he has a shootout with two police cars, and one of shots causes one of the police cars to explode. After the 30-foot-high explosion, Bale looks at his gun like "What the hell?", thus saving what otherwise would have been the worst part of the movie (he didn't save the scene with the chainsaw).

Now, I haven't yet seen The Machinist, but despite my praise of his work in American Psycho, I do not think he would make a good Batman or Bruce Wayne (they're the same person, but different characters). Honestly, I don't care for any of the portrayals of Bruce Wayne in movies or television outside the animated series before it moved to the WB channel and turned gay. Short of that one, Adam West was probably the best Bruce Wayne.

Well, as always, only time will tell. I'm just glad Joel Schumacher isn't making this one. I don't have anything against gay people, but I do have something against a man making a Batman film that's an expression of his own homosexuality. There's certain things you just don't do, and that's one of them.

I'm not a big fan of chocolate, but I just bought a Milky Way bar in hopes that eating it will help keep me awake. One thing I often look at on food I'm about to eat that I know is bad for me is the ingredients list. They always list components that have their own, separate ingredients. On the ingredients list for this bar, the first thing listed is "Milk Chocolate", which has its own ingredients of "Sugar, Cocoa Butter, Skim Milk, Chocolate, Lactose, Milkfat, Soy Lecithin, and Artificial Flavor." Why is chocolate listed as an ingredient of chocolate? That's like putting ingredients for the ingredients of milk. "Ingredients: Milk (Milk)" And if they do list chocolate, isn't chocolate made up of ingredients? Don't they have to list those? They could have infinite sub-ingredients. Also, artificial flavor, seeing as it's artificial, is probably made up of stuff, stuff that might need listing. This mysterious demon is listed twice, once as a sub-ingredient, and again as a primary. What is the need for artificial flavoring of a chocolate bar, anyway? Isn't it supposed to taste like chocolate? Isn't that why it's made out of chocolate? Do we need to deceive the taste buds into believing you're devouring chocolate, when, in fact, you are eating chocolate?

I think I need to listen to that Black Eyed Peas song again.

Do you think Michael Jackson knew the "horse fell in the mud" joke when he named his chimp "Bubbles"?

What kind of trash compactor are you? Answer this quiz to find out!

1. On a first date, you bring your date:
     a. Flowers
     b. Chocolates
     c. Nothing
     d. $1's, maybe $5's

2. If you were a butterfly, you would:
     a. be orange.
     b. be purple.
     c. kill myself, hoping for better reincarnation.
     d. steal a car.

3. Your mother and your spouse are about to drown, and you can only save one:
     a. Mother.
     b. Spouse.
     c. I would try to save both, ultimately dooming us all.
     d. Neither, they're replaceable.

4. For your first date, you would go to:
     a. Olive Garden
     b. TGIF
     c. McDonald's
     d. the parking area behind the 7-11.

5. The police show up at your front door with a warrant for your arrest:
     a. Go willingly, knowing I'm innocnet.
     b. Ask for my lawyer.
     c. Run faster than them.
     d. Go willingly, then sue them for false arrest after bribing the judge.

6. Your spouse wants to get a pet, but it's up to you as to what kind:
     a. Cat
     b. Dog
     c. Aloe Plant
     d. Sammich

7. Which is your more favored flower:
     a. Rose
     b. Chrysanthemum
     c. Sun-
     d. De-

8. A bum stops you on the street. You give him:
     a. $1.
     b. 25 cents.
     c. nothing.
     d. a solid punch in the face.

9. You mother calls with a computer problem. You tell her:
     a. Everything's going to be alright, we'll get through this.
     b. Call tech support, as you know nothing of these things.
     c. It's karmic retribution for what a horrible person she is.
     d. Shit happens.

10. Your mailman is doing a bad job. To let him know, you:
     a. Leave a note for him on your mailbox.
     b. Call his manager.
     c. Call his mother.
     d. Leave a scorpion in your mailbox.

For every A your answered, add 1 point to your score. For every B you answered, add 2 points to your score. 3 for C. 4 for D.

10-17: You are a KitchenAid Undercounter Superba Trash Compactor, nice at first, but after commitment, you break down and don't work anymore.

18-25: You are a Broan Trash Compactor 1050, smaller, but still able to get the job done, if a little difficult to manage.

26-33: You are a GE Profile GCG1520FBB Built-In 15" Compactor, able to handle larger jobs, and uncaring as to what you're crushing.

34-40: You are a garbage truck, able to crush anything with your mighty diesel-powered crusher, unrelenting, and you don't give a fuck as to what the poor bastards stuck behind you in traffic can smell.